News Messenger
  • News
    • Local
    • Sports
    • School
    • State News
    • National News
  • Obituaries
  • Opinions
  • Spiritual
    • Parabola
    • Transcendental Meditation
    • The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia
    • Southern Baptist
  • Legals
  • eEdition
  • Classifieds
  • Contact Us
  • My Account
  • Login
Subscribe For $2.50/Month
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Local
    • Sports
    • School
    • State News
    • National News
  • Obituaries
  • Opinions
  • Spiritual
    • Parabola
    • Transcendental Meditation
    • The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia
    • Southern Baptist
  • Legals
  • eEdition
  • Classifieds
  • Contact Us
  • My Account
  • Login
No Result
View All Result
News Messenger
No Result
View All Result
  • National News
  • VA State News
  • WV State News
  • Contact Us
  • Submit Content
  • Subscribe
Home Local Stories

Home Country

October 12, 2021
in Local Stories
15
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

By Slim Randles

Steve was out in the Mule Barn parking lot the other day, tightening something with his wrenches under the hood of his pickup truck. The rest of us stood around, looking wise, and sipping coffee.

    “You sure it ain’t the solenoid?” said Bert.

    “I don’t think they make them anymore,” said Doc.

    “It’s usually the solenoid,” Bert said, with finality.

    Out of self-defense, Steve emerged from his cavern of wires and metal long enough to say, “Didn’t I see you have a goat now, Bert?”

    Bert nodded. “That’s why I hate allergies.”

     We waited. We stared.

     “Well you see, Maizie’s allergic to cow’s milk, so we bought Ernestine for her.”

     “And Ernestine is ….?”

     “The goat … right. So what happens is somehow I have to milk Ernestine. Twice a day. We wanted to go overnight to the city last week. Ever try to find someone who will babysit and milk a goat?”

    “I won’t do it,” said Dud.

    “Neither will anyone else,” said Bert, sadly. “So we either stay home, or take the goat with us. Ever try to find a motel that takes goats?”

    “Not recently,” Doc said.

    “So we stayed home. Oh, it wouldn’t be so bad if she liked me…”

    “Maizie?”

    “Ernestine. See, she waits until I have her almost milked out, then she’ll stick her foot in the bucket and kick it all over me. The other day, I was standing in her pen and talking with Mrs. Gonzales next door, and Ernestine came running up behind me and ran right between my legs.”

   “Did you fall?”

   “Of course. And Mrs. Gonzales tried not to laugh, but it didn’t work.”

   “Bert,” said Doc, “why don’t you just buy goat’s milk at the store?”

   “Maizie says she needs it fresh, because it’s better. You guys ever notice how a goat has horns and cloven hooves?”

    We nodded.

    “I don’t think I need to add anything to that,” said Bert.

——–                                                    

Pick up “Home Country: Drama, dreams and laughter from the American heartland” www.lpdpress.com.

 

Previous Post

Week Six of high school football: Blue Demons lead 3D points, Radford fifth in 2C football points

Next Post

Virginia gas prices blow past $3/gallon mark

Next Post

Virginia gas prices blow past $3/gallon mark

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join Our Newsletter

  • Login
  • Sign Up
  • Cart
No Result
View All Result
  • News
    • Local
    • Sports
    • School
    • State News
    • National News
  • Obituaries
  • Opinions
  • Spiritual
    • Parabola
    • Transcendental Meditation
    • The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia
    • Southern Baptist
  • Legals
  • eEdition
  • Classifieds
  • Contact Us
  • My Account
  • Login

© 2020 Mountain Media, LLC.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Fill the forms below to register

All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Forgot your password?

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive mail with link to set new password.

Back to login